Dear people who call 911,
* We are not a phone directory. That's what you have internet, phone books, and 411 for.
* It's ok for your neighbor to mow their lawn on Sunday.
* That "suspicious" looking "black guy" walking down the street, was actually a high school kid on his way home from school.
* No, we won't give you a ride any where.
* I'm sorry you locked your keys in your car. If you were smart you would have a spare.
* Remember when you called to report those two unkempt guys that "looked like they didnt belong at church"? What did you say your name was? the "soon to be elders quorum president"? seriously?
* Not every car driving by your house is a drug dealer. Even if they are "mexican."
* Sometimes ducks cross the street.
* If some wierd guy walks into your house in the middle of the night, and goes through your roomates underwear drawer. Don't wait until your bishop tells you 2 days later to call the police.
* We don't enforce the BYU honor code.
I'm happy to give CPR instructions, help deliver your baby, or catch the suspect that just robbed your store. Just make sure its a real emergency before you call.